The sneakiness of the EGO
I was talking to a client yesterday and in our last conversation we decided that it was time to confront her business partner about the fact that he doesn’t keep promises, let’s her do all the ‘hard stuff’ in their business, never shows up for meetings and just generally annoys the crap out of her. She was supposed to meet him last Wednesday and tell him how she feels about him not being there to support her and him not keeping his promises. Not that it was a big surprise, but again he didn’t show up for the meeting.
My client got angry and decided that she would not ask for another meeting. She would just wait until he got the decency to show up or wait until he decided to pick up his share of the profits. She let her ego make this decision based on her disappointment and didn’t want to come across as someone who begs to get attention.
I talked about this with her and asked her how she had felt over the past few days. She admitted that she felt angry, annoyed, that she would have conversations with him in her head and calling him names, that she didn’t sleep much for the past few days and that she was irritated about other small things that usually wouldn’t bother her.
I asked her how long she was willing to feel this way. Was she really willing to let her feelings (and thus her frequency) depend on whether he would call her or show up to talk? Wasn’t this about her usual pattern of not wanting to be a burden to someone by demanding a conversation. Wasn’t this about being afraid to confront him with how she feels about the situation and therefore a way for her to procrastinate on standing up for herself?
Her decision to let it go and wait gave him power over the situation, again.
By not letting this go and calling him again to ask for a conversation, actually being firm about the necessity of having a conversation this week would give her power and teach her to stand up for herself, because she would take action on the situation instead of waiting for him to make a move.
We talked about what she wanted to tell him and came to the conclusion that his reaction really wouldn’t matter. There was no reason to be afraid for the outcome, because whether he would clean up his act or he would agree to step out of the partnership, for her it would all work out perfectly. Financially and emotionally.
How easy it is to let our EGO and our environment dictate our actions. To listen to a friend that doesn’t have any experience in business but with an EGO of her own, that she would not call her business partner because that would be making it easy on him?
When the question really is what would make you FEEL better in the long run?
Calling him and taking action on your goals, or being angry and annoyed for the next three weeks or so?
Therefore step 5 in my signature program is about evaluating your thoughts, feelings and actions. Are those getting you to where you want to be or are they sidetracking you?
Do you want to live your life more conscious, aware of your ego and your inner self. Do you want to successfully use the Law of Attraction to manifest your dream life? Do you want to have the mindset of a successful person and overcome your limiting beliefs?
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